During my time at Grace University, poetry became one of my passions. Many of the poems found in Musings of the Northern Poet came from my experience there. As such, one poem that I performed during a talent show became one of my favorite parody pieces. And so I give you my rendition of The "Grace" Raven, a parody of Edgar Allen Poe's classic.
"Once past the midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
Over tedious hours of theological lore,
While typing, nearly finished, suddenly all sound diminished,
And then came a gentle tapping, tapping at my dorm room door.
`'Tis my neighbor,' I muttered, `locked out of his own door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was the beginning of December,
And each class I took wrought its papers never done before;
So that now, to still the stress, I sat there repeating
`'Tis my neighbor wanting entrance to his dorm room door -
Some late student wanting entrance to his dorm room door; -
'Tis merely this, nothing more'
Presently curiosity grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was writing, well in fact typing,
And so forgive my uninviting, with you at my dorm room door,
But I scarce was sure I heard you' - so I opened wide the door; -
Empty hall, and nothing more.
Wandering into the hallway, quick I looked in dismay,
Thinking things annoyed students get written up for
But the silence was unbroken, and the hallway gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was one I seldom spoke before
This I whispered, and hastily entered my dorm room door
Merely this and nothing more.
Here I sat in my chair, when, with seemingly no care,
In stepped Dr. Eckman, my heart sunk to the core.
Not the least remark made he; not a minute did he teach me;
But, watching intently, stood by my dorm room door -
Watching he opened up my dorm room door -
Opened it wide and nothing more.
Then entered Burkholder, holding now the door secure,
Here came Pagenkemper, a cup of coffee he bore,
`Though art welcome in my room,' I said, `but I don't presume
nor would I assume that you came to stand by the door -
Tell me why you have come when it is nearly four.'
Quoth the teachers, `There's more.'
Scarce had I the time to wonder when here entered Nebecker,
And I began to wonder if soon every professor,
Would watch me writing, as I finish typing
This paper non-inviting of all profs at my door -
Standing there staring with eyes I can't ignore,
As if saying `There's more.'
Then Ramsey, Costello, Shope, Smith, Santoro,
Dr. Udd came also, all crowding 'round my dorm room door.
Hawkins, Holmes, Hoffman, Hood, took the place where others stood -
I tried as much as I could to finish the paper I began to abhor -
As I began to see less and less of my dorm room floor.'
While teachers entered my door
Dr. James and Zielke entered quite quickly,
With Dahlquist, Alford, and Shultz who let in more,
Soon every teacher was waiting for me to finish the paper
Even ones not mentioned later that taught in the days of yore -
As Halgee loomed over my shoulder I could have swore
I heard him mutter "There's more."
When at last my room was covered, and my mind simply shuddered,
As they stared at my screen cluttered with the final score;
Then, upon the keyboard sinking, trembling hands displayed my thinking
The conclusion now was linking back to the intro before -
Then a blackness all consuming cut through my very core
Only darkness, nothing more
Empty now my room was open, all the profs with words unspoken,
Vanished in the night, broken by darkness that was now over;
There I sat with empty screen, empty still my heart did scream
As my paper had also seemed to never be typed before,
And the light blinked on again to reveal the empty floor,
Only this, and nothing more.
And that word left unspoken, crept back into my mind now broken
As if I could just be choking, whoever walked by my dorm room door;
All those hours spent researching, theology books I'd been searching,
All the pages of enlightening will be remembered nevermore;
There is a moral to this story, One you should never ignore
Always save your papers, and lock your door"